Time can stand still for this....

fear….

So i have this huge fear of people taking your phone and seeing everything that i sent. It may just be because it is eleven pm  and i may be crazy but what if i’m not? what if something happens, what if it did happen?…

Please understand that I need time for this ti all settle in…please  don’t give up on me…

Straight, Turn, Turn for Worse

Sometimes life is where we want it to be. You finish your history essay sent directly from hell, high school and the Wheeler community is almost just another chapter in your life, the one you love is still and always in love with you and happy. Sometimes, things take a turn for the worse.

Mom calls hears things from others…great. She needs to believe you. No matter what, it always is the same; For the 10000th time, nothing is happening. Those tennis chicks can shove a their rackets up their asses.

All she has are “he said, she said” type deals.

The message I carry from all of this is; please don’t give up. Things are hard, but its almost all over. Soon, everything they say to try to bring you down won’t matter anymore as the doors of Wheeler get farther and farther and the doors of BU open up to you with welcome. Everything in-between then consists of few weeks of senior projects at Wheeler and a whole lot of summer, beaches, bikinis, and fun. So stay strong, I know I will. Like the promise I made to you all those months ago; I will always be by your side.

A New Begining

I understand how hard this all must be to take in so quickly. I slap in the face you might say. I cannot tell you how sorry i am that i did not tell you sooner. But thats what happens when I am with you. I never think about any of it…But yes the actions that had been done in the past cut into me like a knife. His words, his force, and his strength scared me. There was nothing i could do…But the past is the past. It is time to forgive and forget. This event is now in the stitches of my past and my story…

I have you…That is more than enough reason to be happy for as long as i live. Because, when it comes down to it, you saved me. You gave me something to fight for and now look at me! I am so much better then what i was.

Those memories of his body forced against and into mine… It ate me.. There would be times where i would be curled up in the corner of my kitchen or in my room alone…trying to repress what had happened. I hated it…any smell or position that was even remotely similar to that night, sent me back to it… the same panic and weakness i felt. The sense of being trapped, like a small animal about to get beaten and abused„ locked up in a cage where there was no escaping it..

So even though it is something i will never forget. It can be lost…buried. Because you make me truly and  entirely happy I am safe now and worry free. I want to do the same for you. I will always be by your side.. no matter the situation…and that is a promise… I cant thank you enough…Words can’t begin to describe what you have done. How you have healed me. How ever time i see you or even think of you an ear to ear smile appears on my face and my hearts skips a beat…Thank you <3